Too busy to blog

Well, there's been a lot of frog killin' going on down here since we last spoke (that's southern talk for 'busy as a beaver building a dam').  The humans took off during the holidays for New York City.  Yes, I and the short dogs were left behind.  My sister from Colorado that was supposed to stay with me (and I do love her more than she probably cares for me to show her) went to the Big Apple so I was left to my own devices.  There seemed to be an abundance of short dogs, Beenie Weenie and Blue were visiting so there were five of us here.  Why I wasn't put on that plane I can't figure out.  I mean really, how often am I going to get the chance to see and meet my founding Mother at New Zion or shop in Manhattan? 







Well, loves, what goes around comes around.  It seems the great blizzard of the century caught the humans by surprise.  They finally got back and we had our own blizzard.  Serves everyone right.  I do love the snow.  Maybe it's in my Shiloh-genes. 
 

 

Of course, some of us are just a whole lot smarter about these weather changes than others.  It would appear short dogs are short on brain cells as well.  Good grief.

And let's just say the other short dog, Master Bob Barker, was unable to withstand the freezing of his oh-so-low-to-the-ground private parts.  He mostly sat on the porch and peed.  My Mom was very, very unhappy for this behavior. 

Well, Merry Christmas darlings!  As you can see, I've been terribly busy putting out the velvet bedspreads, decorating the trees, hanging the lights and doing my best to live up to my queenly lifestyle.  I took the humans by such surprise when I posed ON THE BED that the camera was immediately retrieved and photos taken before being ordered OFF THE BED never to be ON THE BED again...blah blah blah.  I do look beautiful, don't I?


Well, some great news--I officially weigh 89.2 lbs having gained 11 lbs in the past several months.  My hair is gorgeous, shiny and no longer leaving mountains of weave-able hair in every corner.  My Mom has turned mealtime into a connoisseur's dream with sardines, freshly ground turkey, bison bits and a dollop of yogurt.  She does, however, burn a lot of holiday candles when I'm eating but it only adds to my festive atmosphere during this lovely season.  I just seem to have an enormous amount of energy which leads me to chasing cats and dragging the short dogs around by collars, necks or other body parts for entertainment.


Well, that's all for today--I heard I might be getting a sister when the weather warms up.  I hope she doesn't have long ears and short legs--one can only tolerate so many basset-type canines in one family.  Hmmm...sleigh bells, elves, squirrels and slow cats...

TEXAS TWO-STEP

Saturday, my humans got us up real early and put me back in the 'touring' car and headed for someplace called Texas.  Mom suggested we go the way she had gone before (even though she still got lost) but Dad said, 'No, we're going the fast way, through Oklahoma City.'  Well, 5 1/2 hours later we finally got there and I don't think that was one of those 'as the crow flies' shortcuts.  Anyhow, we pulled into the Plano Centre, found my cousins, BJ, Leo and Kyrie, and all heck broke loose.  Not only were there dogs barking everywhere, there were donkeys, bunnies, cats, squirrels and people everywhere. 

Now, knowing me as ya'll do, being a pup and all, even though I do weigh 80+ lbs and appear quite queen-like, I was a bit shaken by all these sights and smells--especially these short humans that kept coming right up and poking around on my face!  At first, I let some little yellow-headed human know I didn't want any part of it and I kind of grumbled under my breath.  Mom told me to BEHAVE GIRL so I put on my best act and let the next short, old, tall, fat, skinny and did I mention strange humans pet me and tell me how beautiful I was.

After about two hours of this constant doting, however, I truly had had enough.  You sit in a vehicle for 5.5 hours, get poked and stroked on for another two hours and see how you feel!  I'm a bit sorry to say, I just got downright cranky.  I just turned my back and my head away from everyone and refused to accept anymore attention.  Could we please just go home now before I really act like a bad puppy?  Dad said he thought it would be a good idea to head back to T-town and that's just what we did. 

Maybe someday, I will be a gentle lady like BJ and Kyrie or a lovey giant like Leo.  Their humans said I did fine and just need some more experience.  All I know is I was sure glad to get home and even this time, take a nap with Bob Barker.

Dr Phil, Can You Help Us?

As you may recall, The Basset and The Bagle (Beagle/Basset) were joined in matrimony last summer.  Agnies of Pississi was the blushing bride, radiant in her Italian lace veil, adorned with freshwater, dollar-store pearls and eau d'bone Parfum.  Bob Barker, the studly groom (although he is a full 2" shorter and wider than the bride) showed his eagerness to 'tie the knot' so to speak with an enthusiastic howl and waddle wearing the latest Barka Bow Tie to  match the formality of the affair.










Although the honeymoon was short-lived, the couple did seem to be headed for the usual and customary tolerance of married life in the Midwest.  In recent days, however, Mrs. Barker has become increasingly intolerant of her husband's constant growling at Queen Lily, referring to him as 'a Walrus Beast!'  As is usually the case, Bob is oblivious to his wife's mounting annoyances.  "He never listens," she said.  "He just barks that irritating Basset bark when I try to talk and he never shares his toys or food anymore!"



Alas, things seem headed for Doggy Divorce...butt-to-butt...as it were...

Dr. Phil, can this marriage be saved?

ELVIRA AND THE HAUNTED HOUSE

Happy Halloween, fellow cadavers, ghouls and canine creepies.  As you may suspect (or come to expect as I do), my humans do some pretty strange but always fun things around here.  They really get excited about this holiday called Halloween.  I heard stories about big, masquerade parties in the past and lots of scary goings on around this old house (my Aunt says it's haunted because she hears funny noises in the night...nobody else does, but hey, she's the human, not me and sometimes, pictures have ghost-like images in the background...ewwww!).  Legend has it the doctor who built this house performed surgeries in the basement and hid the money there.  Dad says thats probably b.s. (Boxer snot) because he said he's been all through the floor and walls just to validate it, of course.  Anyway, this year was no different--no party, but lots of decorating and dead body parts laying around...unfortunately, no raw meat, just plastic. 

Well, as you recall, Mom just LOVES to dress me up for any old ocassion and this was no exception.  Loaded with treats and lots of bribes (ya'll know what I'm talking about...more walks, new collar, a new puppy, blah blah), she thought Queen Lily should be a Fairy...now I had no say in this shopping extravaganza but being her best dog in the pack, I, of course obliged.  As you can see, I am just a darling Fairy, whatever a Fairy is (and don't say I look ridiculous--word will get out on the ISSR Shiloh forum and we will find you!) 

Well, you will not believe who showed up at our house during the photo opportunity.  We had just started taking as many pictures as Dad could snap and I was doing my best to not get tangled up in the spiderwebs, pumpkins and snakes when this really beautiful lady appeared.  Mom and Dad were whooping around telling me it was ELVIRA, Queen of the Dead.  Well, I'm here to tell you, I'm the QUEEN OF EVERYTHING.  Nuff said.  Besides, she just stood there like a piece of cardboard staring at I don't know what. 

I guess that was a pretty funny trick because the humans were sure having a big time. As you see, I was regal, as usual, and fairyish waiting for another treat.  A dog just never knows what to expect on a day like today.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, YA'LL

FROM OUR CRYPT TO YOURS

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH

On the road again...well sisters, after 15.5 hours of strange-looking prairie, pees along the highway, volcanic valleys and some mighty strange-looking creatures with trees on their heads, we finally arrived in Crested Butte, Colorado. My humans brought me here to see my favorite Aunt (and her Huskies), do a little shopping at the dog spa and do some more of this socializing business.

Well, first of all, in my people's land, we don't have no stinking Huskies--at least I've never seen any!  What's with those different colored eyes?  Why would anyone expect me, the Queen Lily, to accept as my equals such smallish, foxy-looking canines as my tour guides?  (snap, snap)--'I DON'T THINK SO!'  And, did I ever let them know I wanted no part of their tailwagging, coy, mountain dog society. 

My Mom was pretty upset that I almost took her arm off trying to drag myself in all my bigness towards these unfamiliar dogs but I let her know in no uncertain terms I would have no part of them...well, until they left, that is.  Then Mom took my cranky rear end back outside and everytime I decided I would be a big, bad Shiloh, she just sat me down and stood right in front of me and told me to more or less shut-up and stop acting like a fool (in her nice way, of course).  

Hey, I'm only trying to do my job. I have no idea where we are or even why this was such a great idea to leave my dog buddies at home but that's what we did, so I finally gave in to the plan and pretended to enjoy myself.  I did not appreciate Mom cooing and oohing over those other dogs, though.  She even said she missed the Mauja one...by the way, those dogs don't bark they just 'woo woo'??? 

I kept guard though from the deck upstairs and barked as much as I could get by with.

It was sure good to get home.  Talk about road rash...I don't know if I ever want to 'go for a ride' again!  Even Agnies and Bob Barker were glad to see me but being the slugs that they are, they just took a nap on the deck while I played with all my toys.

No More Slimfast

I gained 6 pounds.  I'm a big girl at 78 lbs.  I don't know why everyone is so surprised--you wouldn't believe the stuff I eat THREE TIMES A DAY!  Raw meat, kibble, sardines, tuna, chicken wings, sweet potatoes and anything I can snatch out of the short dogs' bowl.  Only 25-40 lbs. to go...