TEXAS TWO-STEP

Saturday, my humans got us up real early and put me back in the 'touring' car and headed for someplace called Texas.  Mom suggested we go the way she had gone before (even though she still got lost) but Dad said, 'No, we're going the fast way, through Oklahoma City.'  Well, 5 1/2 hours later we finally got there and I don't think that was one of those 'as the crow flies' shortcuts.  Anyhow, we pulled into the Plano Centre, found my cousins, BJ, Leo and Kyrie, and all heck broke loose.  Not only were there dogs barking everywhere, there were donkeys, bunnies, cats, squirrels and people everywhere. 

Now, knowing me as ya'll do, being a pup and all, even though I do weigh 80+ lbs and appear quite queen-like, I was a bit shaken by all these sights and smells--especially these short humans that kept coming right up and poking around on my face!  At first, I let some little yellow-headed human know I didn't want any part of it and I kind of grumbled under my breath.  Mom told me to BEHAVE GIRL so I put on my best act and let the next short, old, tall, fat, skinny and did I mention strange humans pet me and tell me how beautiful I was.

After about two hours of this constant doting, however, I truly had had enough.  You sit in a vehicle for 5.5 hours, get poked and stroked on for another two hours and see how you feel!  I'm a bit sorry to say, I just got downright cranky.  I just turned my back and my head away from everyone and refused to accept anymore attention.  Could we please just go home now before I really act like a bad puppy?  Dad said he thought it would be a good idea to head back to T-town and that's just what we did. 

Maybe someday, I will be a gentle lady like BJ and Kyrie or a lovey giant like Leo.  Their humans said I did fine and just need some more experience.  All I know is I was sure glad to get home and even this time, take a nap with Bob Barker.

Dr Phil, Can You Help Us?

As you may recall, The Basset and The Bagle (Beagle/Basset) were joined in matrimony last summer.  Agnies of Pississi was the blushing bride, radiant in her Italian lace veil, adorned with freshwater, dollar-store pearls and eau d'bone Parfum.  Bob Barker, the studly groom (although he is a full 2" shorter and wider than the bride) showed his eagerness to 'tie the knot' so to speak with an enthusiastic howl and waddle wearing the latest Barka Bow Tie to  match the formality of the affair.










Although the honeymoon was short-lived, the couple did seem to be headed for the usual and customary tolerance of married life in the Midwest.  In recent days, however, Mrs. Barker has become increasingly intolerant of her husband's constant growling at Queen Lily, referring to him as 'a Walrus Beast!'  As is usually the case, Bob is oblivious to his wife's mounting annoyances.  "He never listens," she said.  "He just barks that irritating Basset bark when I try to talk and he never shares his toys or food anymore!"



Alas, things seem headed for Doggy Divorce...butt-to-butt...as it were...

Dr. Phil, can this marriage be saved?